This past year has been hard. I have struggled to come to terms with the suffering that I have seen with my own eyes. I have struggled as I fought and prayed for children I love so deeply, only to see my hopes and dreams for them come crashing down. I have struggled to find purpose in this quiet season of waiting. I have struggled with the aching emptiness of my heart and arms as I know that my child(ren) are out there somewhere, longing for their mama and I just can’t get to them. I have struggled to trust and have faith that God will do what He said He was going to do even when His ways don’t make any sense to me.
If I had to choose one theme verse for this year, it would be from John chapter 6. Jesus had just finished teaching that whoever eats His flesh and drinks His blood would have eternal life. The people were confused, they were offended, they did not understand what Jesus saying! The bible says,
From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.”
Over the past year I have had many questions and very few answers. I have felt confused, yes, even angry when I simply cannot understand what God is doing. But in the end, my response is the same as Peter’s: “Lord, where else can I go? You have proven Yourself to me time and time again. Even when I’m confused and don’t understand what You’re doing, I believe and know that You are the One and Only God.”
Who are You God