Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Stuck

I know I’m way overdue for a job update… the thing is, there really hasn’t been any news to share. Over the past several months I have sent out over two dozen resumes, none of which have produced any results. Last week I was offered a job where I will be put on a substitution list to work as an aid with special needs students with one of our local school boards and today I had an interview for a similar position with a school exclusively for children with special needs. Neither is likely to turn into a permanent, full-time job but at least it’ll be something for now. In the meantime, this week I am in the process of calling and sending out resumes to about a dozen more places; truly the only places I can think of that I haven’t already tried.

If I’m going to be honest, I have to admit that this whole process has been confusing, frustrating and discouraging. Next week will mark eight months since I left Ukraine. Eight Months. And here I sit… Right now I just feel stuck. I feel like I spend my days reading about other people’s lives (welcome to the world of adoption blogs…) but I have no life of my own. I distinctly remember being 20 years old, sitting on a city bus thinking and praying about my future. At that time, school was just a filler as all I wanted was to get married, have kids and become a stay at home mom – the sooner the better. That day as I prayed however I felt God telling me not to just sit around and wait as life passed me by. Right there on that city bus I vowed that I would live life to the fullest, follow God wherever He sent me and never regret wasting time while waiting for whatever the future may have in store. For the most part, that is how I have lived the last seven years of my life… until now.

I came home from Ukraine because I felt God was calling me to begin bringing home children of my own. I continue to believe that this is the case however these last eight months haven’t exactly gone as I expected. The very first step in this long process of pursing adoption is to find a stable, decent-paying job with reasonable hours that will allow me to support whatever child(ren) God has in store for me. Knowing this is what God was calling me to, I expected Him to provide such a job relatively quickly. Instead, eight months later, I find myself in the exact place I vowed never to be in – waiting for my future to begin. I don’t know why God has me here, just waiting. If it’s not time for me to bring my kids home yet then I’d rather be overseas somewhere loving on orphans or something. Every time I ask God, “Did I hear You wrong? Was I supposed to stay in Ukraine? Am I supposed to go somewhere else?” His short, nondescript answer is the same, “You are where you’re supposed to be”.

I don’t understand what God is doing or what His plan is in all of this but I am doing my best to trust Him. For those of you who have been praying for me, thank you. It’s hard when there are no updates to give but I want you to know how much I appreciate you. Please continue to pray that God would open up the right job, in the right place at the right time and that He would help me to trust Him in this season of just feeling “stuck”.

5 comments:

Patti said...

I will be praying for you Andrea. And I really mean that, even though we don't know each other well.

Pam said...

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths."
Proverbs 3:5,6 NKJV

Waiting is tough, but keep trusting and praying--I'm sure God will guide you to the right thing in his time! You are doing a great work advocating for these children in the mean time!

I used to think I would be a Mom when I "grew up" too, but since that hasn't happened (at least not yet), I finally decided to go back to school. We just have to trust God to guide us step by step! I guess if our plans always worked out exactly as we had in mind, we wouldn't learn to trust as much. God has greater plans than we can imagine! (Isaiah 55:9,10; Jeremiah 29:11)

Keep up your courage! I look forward to seeing what plan God has for you!

"Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!"
Psalm 27:13-14 NKJV

patty said...

Andrea,

I'm sending up extra prayers for you tonight. I've known the "stuck" feeling and it is a challenging place to be. I know that God has wonderful plans for you, but in His time not ours, right? It is still hard. God knows how willing you are to follow His call and I bet he is just making all the proper "arrangements" for all this to happen. I look foward to any news that you have to share.

Keep smiling,
Patty

Rick and Michelle said...

Andrea,
We understand that "limbo" feeling too. We want so badly to just go get our girls, but we have to finish this house moving process first. It's part of God's plan somehow, and we're confident of that. We are "waiting upon the Lord" so when the time comes to make the trip preparations, we can "mount up with wings like eagles". You might not see what's going on on the other side of the curtain, but all God asks is that we are ready & waiting for His call to come on stage for our part. Don't get discouraged. Just keep trusting that He's working out all the details for the next season of your life. Maybe you're supposed to be resting right now in preparation for whatever is coming next. You are in His hand, and He hasn't forgotten about you!

Sarah said...

Andrea,
Praying for you my friend!! ♥ It's gotta be hard to be where you are at! May God give you courage, patience, understanding, and everything else you are in need of including a job! God will open up the right door, wait for it!
Sarah
www.matthew18vs14.blogspot.com