Monday, May 2, 2011

Longing

Today marks three months since I left Ukraine… Three months. It seems like such a long time yet I feel like I am in the same place now as I was when I arrived home three months ago… waiting, longing, yearning for what’s to come. My quest for a job in the field of adoption has been slow and not very promising. Maybe working in adoption is not what God has for me and if that’s the case, I’m willing to accept that but I need some direction on what He wants me to do. For the past four years I haven’t made any big decisions about where to go or what to do without a clear leading from God. I’m not about to change that but right now, I just don’t know what to do.

In the midst of all of this, my inner clock is telling me it must be time to leave again. This past weekend in Kampala, Uganda local police fired live ammunition and teargas into crowds of demonstrators protesting recent inflation. At least five people are reported dead and hundreds more were wounded, including innocent child bystanders. All of this took place just 100 meters from my friend Bonny’s home and two of his children had to be rushed to the hospital for breathing difficulties. While we complain that higher gas prices are causing us to make choices about how far and how often we drive, in Uganda, where families were already struggling to feed their children on about $1 a day, rising costs have now made feeding one’s family impossible. This is my heart’s home, these are the people I love and all I want to do is jump on the next plane… to feed them, to clothe them, to hold them, to love them, to simply be with them and let them know that someone cares.

Then there’s the knowledge that over the course of the next six weeks or so, four different families will be travelling to the orphanages I worked at in Ukraine to bring their children home. I am so happy for the children who are about to meet their forever families and excited to maybe get pictures and updates on “my” kids but deep down, I really wish I was going with them. Not a day goes by when I don’t wish that I could hold my kids just one more time… not that one more time would ever be enough.

I still believe that that my time for overseas missions is over, at least for now. I continue to feel God telling me that it is time for me to settle down here, to get ready to start a family of my own and I am excited about what the future will look like. Still, as I sit in church on Sunday morning and listen to the beautiful Ugandan accents of the Watoto Children’s Choir, as I lay in my bed at night and dream of the precious faces of my Ukrainian angels, my heart longs to go back.

So, that’s where I’m at these days. BUT, last night I got some news that wiped all of my waiting blues away… I can’t say anything yet but stay tuned because this just might be life-changing for some of my favourite kids! In the meantime, please pray for the people of Uganda, for God’s peace and His provision during this time of great hardship and turmoil. And, as always, please pray for families for my kids in Ukraine.

1 comment:

patty said...

Hey Andrea,

Now you have got me on the edge of my seat. I can't wait to hear the news. Don't keep us in the dark too long :)
Patty