Monday, March 28, 2011

Their turn...

A few days ago I had a dream that so accurately depicted how I’ve been feeling lately it was scary. I was back at the baby orphanage in Ukraine playing with some of my kids. There were also several sets of adoptive parents there playing with their children. When it was time to go, I found myself outside with all the parents and their children and together we began walking out those big metal gates for the last time.
Everyone had their children with them except me; I had to leave my kids behind.

I woke up with two very familiar questions running through my mind and heart – When will it be my turn?
And, more importantly, when is it their turn?

I truly rejoice every time I hear that another child has found a family but deep down in my heart the question remains, when is it their turn?

When is it this sweet boy’s turn? Time after time we would play together while hanging out with whatever adoptive family was there at the time. For weeks at a time we’d share the playground/visiting room together, he and I along with the adoptive parents and their little one who was often also from his group. Until the day that they disappeared along with his groupmate and it was just the two of us once again. Then one day I was the one who disappeared, leaving him and all the others behind. I’ve often wondered what went through his little mind when my face stopped appearing in the doorway to their room. He was smart and observant. He was catching on to the fact that I loved him and I think that maybe he was starting to love me too. He saw so many kids go home with their forever families, did he think he and I would be next?
Does he ever wonder when it’ll be his turn?

Last week I found out that one of my kids is not available for adoption. The little girl whose shouts screamed of her desperation for a father of her own will likely never get her turn. What about the rest of them? As far as I know, they still have a chance but their time is running out…
When is it their turn?

When is it their turn?


Freedom Hollow Farmgirl said...

Andrea I too often find myself asking "WHen God, when will it be my turn to bring my little treasure home." I keep praynig for the Lord to break my husband's heart like he has mine for the orphans. And, I often find myself feeling a bit of jealousy when a bloggin friend is on their trip to bring there little one home. Then I remind myself I am not what is important. The important thing is one more little one is coming home to a loving family.

I love your heart for these precious littles.


Alan said...

Thank you for your love for these overlooked ones. I linked to you on our blog. Blessings to you!

Sabrina said...

Andrea, the love that you have for these little ones is a beautiful thing. It's a little glimpse of the Father's love for each of us. Thank you for sharing your heart.

Melissa said...

I think I went thru a period where I couldn't take it anymore. Maybe that's the real reason I've been letting "busyness" keep me from blogging and advocating. I still can't stop the tears everytime I realize that "my" Vika will never have a family. I didn't realize how much I loved her until I had to leave her behind :( You are an inspiration to me and I am determined to "get back on my horse" and get to work alongside you!