Saturday, January 22, 2011

Saying goodbye

As I enter into my last full week here, I know that it is going to be a week of difficult goodbyes. Saying goodbye to kids whom I have spent months holding and caring for, kids whom I have come to love as my own – it is something I have done many times before only this time, it’s different…  In the past I have left “my” kids with people who loved and cared for them and the sadness I felt was more about me and how much I would miss them than it was about them. This time, although I will miss these kids just as much as all the others, my sorrow and my heartache is more about them than it is about me. This time I am leaving my kids in circumstances that break my heart. After I leave, there will be no one to hold them, sing to them or pray over them. There will be no one to smother their faces with kisses or tickle them until they laugh so hard that their faces turn red. No one will take the time to stop and kiss their boo-boos or give them their undivided attention. Some of my kids may never again be held in loving arms or receive a gentle kiss on their forehead.  They will spend their days laying immobile in a crib or banging their heads against the bars and then, if they survive long enough, they will live out the rest of their days in a mental institution. Many times over the past several weeks I have been brought to tears as I held or played with my kids, thinking about how little time I have left with them and I know that many tears will be shed this week as I start saying goodbye to them one by one. Please pray for my kids. Pray that God’s presence, His comfort and His peace would envelope them. Pray that the little bit of love I have been able to show them would stay with them and that they would know that they are treasured. Finally, pray for families for these kids as it is the only chance they have at a future. It is a nearly impossible request as most of them are not even listed for adoption but nothing is impossible for God. Pray that He would move every obstacle to getting them listed and that He would have families waiting, ready to bring them home.

9 comments:

Julia said...

I'm crying with you. I'm so grateful that for a brief moment in the lives, they were physically touched and loved by the hands of God through you.

Patti said...

Hey, somehow I missed that you had decided not to stay any longer. any idea what's up for you next? Praying for you during this last week - that's not easy, I'm sure.

Jenny said...

Praying for you and those sweet kiddos as you say goodbye! I wish I had more to say to comfort your heart but I think only God can do that in a way that satisfies. Love you lots!

Chris and Sarah said...

Wow, I stopped by to thank you for your comment and you totally brought me to tears. I can't imagine how hard it is to leave your kiddos. Praying for them and you!

Hayley said...

Hey Andrea! So sad to hear that your time in Krivoy is coming to an end. As you've seen, I know how it feels to fall in love with those kids and then have to leave them. Please know that as you depart, there ARE people who will continue to come into their lives and bless them with the love of God. It's not over for them.

Robertsons said...

You're not laying over in Vancouver, are you?

Leanne said...

Andrea, I am crying with you, girl. I don't have any words, all of them will fall short. I just trust and know in the goodness, grace and mercy of God, for you, for their lives. He will bring justice for them, one way or the other. You have made their plights known and paved a path, trust that someone will come. Please know you are in my prayers.

hartelijk said...

Dear Andrea, praying for comfort for you, and for loving arms for the treasures you have to leave!God will provide, he IS the Father of the Fatherless!
Thank you for beïng His hand and feet to them!

Melissa said...

I have never wanted to go back there as badly as I just did reading this. Oh, my heart is broken for those kids because I know what you have said is the truth. Liza still sometimes gets this look of disbelief on her face when we kiss her sometimes. Like she just can't believe that someone would want to kiss HER! They should ALL have someone who wants to kiss them thousands of times a day. Dear God send their Mommies and Daddies, please.....