Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Waiting

I just got off the phone with my translator, Lienna. We were supposed to be meeting up tomorrow to start helping with her ministry, discuss where my heart’s at, etc. but she had an opportunity to go to the sea this week and now she won’t be back until Sunday or Monday. I’m happy for her, she’s been working really hard for the last month and deserves a vacation, but for me it means another week of waiting. If I’m going to be honest, I’d have to say that I’m feeling kind of discouraged… On Friday I was so excited as I felt like God had given me a vision for why He brought me here but now I am struggling with sitting still when all I want to do is get started. I know that even once I get started it’s going to be very slow-moving as I work to gain the trust of the staff and directors. Right now I just feel like I’m wasting precious time yet I know that God’s timing is perfect.

If I’m going to be really honest, I have to say that I know I’m not using this time as well as I could. I recognize that I have been given a precious opportunity to spend some real time entering into prayer for all that these upcoming months have in store and the children God has brought me here to love, to consecrate myself before God and allow Him to prepare and equip me. Yet, as I sit around my room in the afternoons, I simply feel lazy.

I believe that God can and will do mighty miracles in these places that He has put on my heart but if I want to be a part of what He’s going to do, I know that I need to be completely dedicated to Him. Please pray that God would work out all the details for me to be able to start in His time but more importantly, please pray that God would give me renewed motivation, discipline and zeal for His Presence so that He can prepare me to be used by Him.

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